Molly here.
If you read my guidebook I hope it was helpful to you and your family while you processed the news of a newfound biological daughter or son. And I hope you’ve been able to determine the right path forward for your family.
This blog will be a platform for your stories and a place to share what worked for your situation (and what didn’t), without fear of judgment.
Why do I bring up the subject of judgment? Because when wives or other existing family members aren’t immediately on board, even celebratory, about a new DNA discovery, there’s a backlash. Some who search for their biological fathers believe wives or raised children shouldn’t have a say or role in what happens after the discovery — because it has “nothing to do with them.” This could not be further from the truth (for starters, read up on “family systems,” which theorizes that “any change in one individual within a family is likely to influence the entire system and may even lead to change in other members.”).
It’s no surprise that searchers who don’t recognize that these discoveries absolutely impact the entire family are less likely to have a successful reunion. Proceeding down the reunion path with a lack of respect for the existing family is a common thread in discoveries that seriously damage or even break up marriages or relationships with raised children.
That’s a long way of saying that I will not enable comments to individual posts.
Please email molly@fatherdaughterdnamatch.com if you are interested in telling your story.
Thanks.