A reader came across this advice column in the Anchorage Daily News and shared it with me. I thought it was worth posting.
Countless people will purchase commercial DNA kits when they go on sale for Black Friday. Many will find previously unknown relatives and have to decide what to do with that information. The new uncle in the column told his brother (the biological father) about the DNA surprise and, I think, suffice to say, didn’t get the reaction he anticipated. Now he’s wondering if he should tell his brother’s adult children himself. That’s essentially the question he’s posed to these advice columnists.
The topic of extended family involvement comes up a lot in my interactions with men (and their wives) who have discovered a biological son or daughter they didn’t know about. Often, they express frustration that extended family members got involved, even made contact, before they’ve had the chance to digest the news or decide how to proceed.
This kind of interference can add unnecessary conflict to an already a stressful and emotional time for the people most impacted by the discovery. This is true whether or not the newfound biological father decides to engage or pursue a relationship.
I wonder how this situation played out and what the writer’s relationships with his brother, sister-in-law, and known nieces and nephews are like today.
Molly